I was in Newark on Thursday, giving a Day of Reflection about the Internet and the Church (that’s for another time). We met in Holy Trinity Parish, and I had some great conversations about a huge pastoral project they are involved in. Supported by Lottery funding, and with the help of Regenerate Trust, they are part of a Neighbourhood Challenge pilot scheme that’s trying to find new ways of listening to the needs of the community and responding to those needs through the commitment of the community itself. You can read about it here.
Fr Michael gave me one great example of how listening with sensitivity and openness can bring about unexpected changes. Like most parishes, there was a vague feeling that they were not doing enough for young people, and an assumption that they should start some kind of youth club, which reflected another unspoken assumption that young people wanted to be alone together – isolated within their peer group, and cut off from other relationships with their parents, older or younger siblings, parishioners, neighbours etc.
But when, as part of this project, they actually started asking families what the young people really wanted/needed (I know these are not always the same thing), the answer was: a family evening. Not to stop young people gathering together with their peers; but to allow them to do that in a context where the whole family could be together as well, and where other families – and parishioners and neighbours – could spend time together. So they did it. And it worked!
This is from Caroline Hurst’s blog-post:
On Friday 5th August a group of volunteers arrived at the Community Centre a little apprehensive but very excited, waiting to see what the opening night of Family Friday’s would hold.
It turned out that well over 50 people came down to the centre and the atmosphere was brilliant. Young people were out playing games on the field, people were playing table tennis and pool. The hot dogs were very well received and tasted great (so I am told) and the tuck shop also went down brilliantly with old and young alike! Adults were catching up with one another and young people were either joining in with their families, playing games or sitting having their own conversations. It was fantastic to see people interacting together so freely and the concerns about ages and parents being around appeared to be unfounded as a good time was had by all.
There were people of all ages there from under 5′s to over 60′s and the interactions were wonderful to see. Several people remarked on the night and since how surprised at the numbers and the success of the evening. All we can hope is that Family Fridays continue to grow and develop. When term time starts up hopefully the word will start to spread and that even more people will interested in coming and seeing what is on offer of Family Friday’s down at Holy Trinity Community and Partnership Centre.
The peer group is important. And young people need space and a certain privacy. But they also value the security of knowing that parents, grandparents, siblings, neighbours, etc are around. In the right context, there can be a magical balance of freedom and belonging in this kind of environment.
You see this, if you are lucky, when extended families get together, and cousins chase around together while aunties and uncles sit and put the world to rights.
You see this in Lourdes, when part of the joy for young people is spending time with the elderly, loving them for who they are, and also being able to escape in their own groups later in the day.
You see this, sometimes, in village schools, where because of the lack of numbers, children are not isolated within their own age group, but have to share a classroom with those younger and older than themselves, with the result that all sorts of relationships can flourish that would be impossible in a single year group.
I know there are problems as well; I just think we should be a bit more critical of the hidden assumption that the deepest desire of everyone between the ages of 11 and 18 is to get away from anyone who isn’t their age.
[I’m just piecing this all together from a quick conversation with Fr Michael. If anyone from the parish wants to say more about the listening process behind the family nights – please do add your thoughts in the comments below].
Thanks, Father… This is a really interesting piece.
Cross-generational contact is important to the Church and having been to Lourdes many times I know how well it works there, as mentioned.
The task for youth ministry is to minister to young people in a way which meets their unique needs, but yet also to do that in a way which integrates them into the Church as it is.
I think there is a slight danger in assuming that youth clubs are always isolating. I know Fr. Stephen isn’t saying this outright though. Youth groups can be isolating – or just useless – if they’re run badly. If they’re run properly though, they can be fantastic for evangelisation, integration, mission and so many other things.
There are always discussions in youth ministry about such-and-such an approach being old-hat. Usually, having a “youth group”. For me, any approach can be done well, or done badly. What’s important is that the approach taken meets the needs of the young people and is an authentic experience of the faith that ha been handed down to us.
Jack Regan
CatholicYouthWork.com
Very true. Youth clubs can have a really important role.
A thought: If the youth club is being run by a parish, why can’t the young people be invited to join the Friday evening Mass just before the club meets? Or perhaps the timing of the meeting of the club be deliberately linked to a week day Mass? [As already suggested in the comments above, it is about how this is done, rather than about assuming that young people will not buy in.]
Another thought: From the point of view of a teacher – in the majority of work place situations, young people need to be able to work alongside people who are older than themselves. Cross generational relating is an important work place skill.
Yet another thought: Should specific pastoral ministries be age related? If we put youth ministry alongside, say, ministry to the sick or to seafarers, there is a contrast in this regard. For the sick and seafarers, it is a particular situation in life that establishes the need for a particular style of pastoral ministry, not age. The example of “Family Fridays” seems, at least to an extent, to insert the ministry to young people within the context of a ministry towards a particular situation in life (family life).
A last thought: Should a youth club in a parish be a “task” undertaken or a “charism” received and responded to? This is not unrelated to “Yet another thought” above. Several of the new ecclesial movements have structures that would be recognised as “youth ministry”, but in the context of forming young people to live their Catholic faith through the charism of the particular movement. If a parish is going to start a youth club of some sort, should it not first look for a charism (patron saint?) on which to model its work?