How do you make sense of a radical commitment to poverty, chastity and obedience in the contemporary world? Is it possible for someone to say: “For love of Jesus Christ, and in answer to his call, I desire to give myself to him, freely and forever, and to devote my whole life to the extension of his Kingdom”?
It was good to be with Sister Cathy Mary of the Holy Spirit on Saturday, as she said these very words and made her final vows in the Congregation of the Religious of the Assumption in their beautifully restored chapel in Kensington. You can see their website here.
I’ve already posted about the renewal of religious life in this country, and one of the many encouraging signs on Saturday was the number of young religious sisters from other congregations who were there to support Sr Cathy.
Fr Matt Blake OCD gave a beautiful homily about the meaning of a lifelong commitment in religious vows. Three thoughts really struck me. First, reflecting on the journey of faith that brings someone to this point, and why the extended period of discernment and initiation is so important, he said:
It takes time for God’s deepest desire for you to become your own deepest desire for yourself.
That’s why, quite often, when we make a heartfelt prayer to God that he would reveal our true vocation, the answer doesn’t always come straight away. It’s not just that we aren’t ready to hear; sometimes we aren’t ready to want what God wants, or to want what he wants us to want.
Second, he spoke about a scene from the film Of Gods and Men, which I haven’t seen yet. One of the monks is agonising about whether he should stay in the Algerian monastery and risk giving his life as a martyr. In response his abbot says something like, ‘But you have already given your life without reservation to God in your monastic vows’. And the monk is overcome with a sense of clarity and peace about his desire to remain where he is – whatever the cost.
Fr Matt drew out from this a profound thought about the nature of commitment: that instead of acting as a restraint, which is what we often fear, it actually gives you a greater freedom. When you make an unconditional ‘yes’ (e.g., to Christ, or to a specific vocation, or to a husband or wife), it means you have already accepted all the future commitments that come along implicitly with this original commitment. Some, of course, will be difficult; some will be unexpected; some will even seem to stretch the meaning of that ‘yes’ in ways that seemed unimaginable at the beginning. But they will all be part of the same decision to give oneself completely.
This gives an enormous freedom and security. There will be incredibly difficult choices to make, but the fundamental one has already been made. And that takes away the existential anguish of constantly having to reconsider whether this purpose, this deepest commitment, is actually worthwhile or not.
The final thought was about the Gospel reading, which was the story of the Annunciation – when the Angel Gabriel comes to the Virgin Mary and announces that she will give birth to the Son of God. Fr Matt said “I’ve always thought that the most important line in the whole passage is…” – and we all started guessing whether it would be one of Gabriel’s profound words to Mary or Mary’s profound words to Gabriel. But he went on “…the most important line in the whole passage is the last one: And the angel left her.
That threw me. I must have heard this passage a hundred times, but not once have I thought about that last line. It doesn’t mean, said Fr Matt, that God ever abandons anyone, or that the gift of his Holy Spirit is ever taken away from those who are trying to be faithful to Christ in their vocation. But the glory that surrounds the event, even the clarity and inspiration that made the commitment possible – these can fade and sometimes disappear. What endures is the commitment itself. We don’t know if the Virgin Mary ever saw the angel again in her lifetime, but she treasured his memory and clung to the truth that he had revealed.
I don’t think Fr Matt was being pessimistic about Sr Cathy’s future by drawing attention to this line. He was just speaking from his experience of religious life, and in his own way he was offering encouragement: You’ve had a wonderful day professing your final vows, now you can get on with the business of living them.
PS: These thoughts came from silvana rscj in the comments:
Following on from your reflections on the angel… in PierPaolo Pasolini’s film the Gospel According to St Matthew, Mary does meet the angel again, 33 years later at the tomb of her son, now risen from the dead. There is a lovely look of recognition on her face, and, finally, understanding of everything the angel had told her all those years ago.
Maybe that’s how it will be for us too: many years and events later, we will eventually come to understand the promises God has made to us, and, like Mary, enter into a deeper, closer relationship with Jesus…
I’ve been sneaking around your blog for a while, but haven’t commented. I was very happy to be at Sr Cathy’s final vows yesterday too. It was a moving experience for me to be there – my first such event. Would have said hi if I had realised you were there!
Sorry I missed you. It was a great day!
Hi Stephen
I’m not sure if I fall into your definition of a young religious sister, but I was there too, a finally professed Sacred Heart sister delighted to share Cathy’s joy and, through remembering my own big day, to feel my own commitment renewed and deepened.
Following on from your reflections on the angel… in PierPaolo Pasolini’s film the Gospel According to St Matthew, Mary does meet the angel again, 33 years later at the tomb of her son, now risen from the dead. There is a lovely look of recognition on her face, and, finally, understanding of everything the angel had told her all those years ago.
Maybe that’s how it will be for us too: many years and events later, we will eventually come to understand the promises God has made to us, and, like Mary, enter into a deeper, closer relationship with Jesus…
I saw you from a distance, and then didn’t get a chance to chat at the reception. Thanks for the thoughts above; as they are already public here I hope you don’t mind that I have copied the last two paras into the post. Thanks!
Thank you for this Silvana – it’s a beautiful image…
Is it right that somebody should have an extended period of discernment and initiation for a religious vocation and not for a vocation into marriage. Is it right that some educations and upbringings present people with one set of choices, that other upbringing are not exposed to, or presented with or even aware of ? Is this God’s doing or is this humans doing.
I agree
“It takes time (sometimes half a lifetime, sometimes a full lifetime) for God’s deepest desire for you to become your own deepest desire for yourself.”
Cardinal Newman says “God calls us again and again”. and I believe too that He calls us not just the once, but in an authentic inspirational and ongoing way.
I believe we have already given our life without reservation to God, apart from at the moment of being conceived, but radically at the powerful moment that we truly come to know Him. Regardless of which vocation or place we happen to find ourselves in.
Giving the rest of our life up consciously from this point, for His Will is something that doesn’t always go with the man made politics of where we are. God made us in His image, with the capacity to Love, to feel, to yearn, to procreate, to serve, to have compassion, to pray, to have choice. God gave us senses and a physical form, and a spiritual identity, that works perfectly in harmony together in His image. He didn’t make some one way, and some another way, He didn’t make our choices once taken to be the end marker in our journey towards Him. We are squeezed and over burdened by human rule, again and again and again.
Is it right to value chastity so highly when some have their chastity stolen from them, or is chastity about faithfulness to moral behaviour? Does a vow of poverty include theatre and films and computers and good food, or overdrafts or mortgages or is it about living a life conscious to the suffering and poverty of human kind.? It is all relative.
Thank you for your beautiful, thoughtful and touching post. Stephen, if I can by way of example live a new radical life devoted to God and His work, by sharing in mine and others poverty, with a deepest discipleship, whilst being morally faithful, whilst being deeply in Love with another being as well as Christ, and with the awesome vocation as a selfless mother to five. because that is where I have been led so far. Then God Willing The Holy Spirit will never Leave my side x.
“and with the awesome vocation as a selfless mother to five” – must be amazing having a large family like this (of course, so much stress and strain as well).
What advice would you give to couples who want to have a large family (how to overcome the challenges of)?
This is a wonderful insight into what many might think a mysterious, incomprehensible area of life. Discernment of a vocation truly takes a lot of prayer and soul searching.
Thanks so much for these thoughtful reflections Stephen; it was an amazing day for me, full of God’s love and joy.
Our website now has photos on, as well as an MP3 of Fr. Matt’s homily, should anyone want to listen to it.
Hello Ed, not sure how sound my advice is having missed some of it myself, but with some hindsight and my personal experience my advice would be;
To fall in Love with Jesus first before you marry, for you do not know what being in true Love is until you Love Jesus.
Bless all your children with the gift of faith, and teach them that faith is an eternal resource that they can endlessly draw upon, whatever happens. Encourage them to fall in Love with Jesus too.
My children all know that the most important thing in the world (the Holy Grail) is Love
and the Holy Grail of Love is tenderness. And I teach them this not in discipline like some things, but as disciples, by example.
Even if you have nothing, To Love tenderly is everything!
Their are stresses and strains and struggles. Sometimes in a big family we fail with a capital F. We live hand to mouth often in deficit, we compromise, we prioritise and we apologise. Grace comes in the form of forgiveness and unconditional Love in our family. My Grandad always taught me that if someone else should turn up at meal time we always invite them to join us and we all have a little less. Everyone says a little line when we do grace at mealtime, praying for people and thanking for the days events. With children it is often with great seriousness and sometimes great humour!
My practical advice would be to access all free resources, in hind site by living closer to them. Live close to the infants school (I do not) Older children can travel.
Prioritise The Arts they are so so important, I came from a working class background, my education was not good, but the Arts crossed class and educational boundaries for me, they were so inspiring, and fill a child’s hunger and thirst for learning. Indulge them, much is free, and they give a child a far greater and wider understanding of our world and of other cultures and of their privileges, and teaches them visually of those who are less fortunate. My Dad used to help anyone who needed helping, as a little girl I remember him making cups of tea for a homeless man (a tramp we called him then) He used to sit on our wall, he didn’t seem to want feeding or helping just a cup of tea. A lesson of kindness which stuck by me all these years, and made me feel so fortunate in life.
I do not remember being encouraged to follow my aspirations, this was a middle class luxury when I was little and limiting, and so I will always encourage my children follow theirs. We had no faith just hope and much Love.
Walking with nature is a beautiful free past time.
Swimming is free here, living close to open water. and a necessity. Pets teach children how to care tenderly and eventually teach them of death. I Allow my children to see me cry and fail.
Many times my children have seen the worst of me, but they also see me pick myself up, and they also see the best of me. And we always say without self consciousness “I Love you” when ever we want to, usually many times a day. We talk openly.
But most importantly of all I believe that children should be taught that God calls us as individually by name, not just by their vocation, but as an individual, who has a valid voice and a worth, and if they can learn to be perceptive to Him and follow His Light, then Truth and Beauty and His Will for them will eventually reveal itself and fulfil their life.
I never compare my children.
“There is one Glory of the Sun, and another Glory of the moon, and another Glory of the stars; for one star differeth from another star in Glory.
Bible 1 Corinthians 15.41
Above all other advice Always be True x
Congratulation Sr Cathy Mary r.a the photos etc are lovely, you are blessed x
Hello Mags.
Thanks for your reply. Really enjoyed it!
God Bless.
Oh ignore all statistics, and never wait till you can afford them! x you may be waiting forever